The most outrageous thing

October 18, 2019 (Quora Question)

What is the most outrageous thing a counselor said to you?

One so-called therapist said he would kick my ass down the hall if I behaved in some untoward manner (I can’t remember what manner, but I don’t think I threatened any violence, so his comment seemed apropos of nothing). This “pastoral counselor” was a big bruiser and he really *could* have kicked my ass down the hall, but was that really how counseling worked? (I didn’t know because I had never been to a counselor before.) I later called him and said I thought I would do better with another therapist. He laughed at me like I was some kind of pussy - though he did refer me to another therapist, a woman who insisted that I tell her what I honestly thought of her. When I did that, she became outraged and shouted out defenses of herself while also stating that she didn’t have to justify her behavior to me. Man, I couldn’t win.

These were my very first experiences with any kind of therapist or counselor, and it made me very wary of seeking other help, which I really needed. Now, I did happen to run into that woman while walking in the woods, and I stopped to say hello. She said, “You seem much more relaxed, like you’re in your element,” and I reckon I thought “You too, lady,” but it was a nice moment of acceptance on both our parts. Still, when you go into therapy, there is a not unreasonable expectation that you will be respected and not be made to feel like a freak because you already feel like you’re a freak. I think many people get into psychology and psychiatry because they are pretty messed up themselves and are somehow seeking help themselves.

Later I went on to find a therapist with whom I was able to express my concerns, and I believe that ventilating was a good way to deal with those concerns. At a hundred bucks for 45 minutes, it had better be. Still later I had a therapist who had me come in for an expensive appointment only to tell me she couldn’t see me anymore. I fought that one with the clinic and got a refund. The counselor also quit, hopefully to pursue a more appropriate vocation - LOL.

Another quart of blood, sweat, and tears

June 5 I realized that I would be under a lot of pressure to produce, and since I didn't relish the idea of giving another quart of blood, sweat, and tears, I simply resigned.

Makes You or Breaks You

Sept. 7

Dear Lainey,

I am finally alone in this big house of my folks, after being with a fair portion of my brothers and sisters and their kids over the weekend. The drive out here was kind of weary: I stopped in Iowa City for the night (Saturday), woke at 5 and had an engaging conversation with a young waitress self-described as “weird” but in actuality very feisty, who had just thrown three big drunk guys out of the restaurant where she worked.

When I went into this place, I first asked for a table that had enough light to read by. Then I asked for the ceiling fans to be shut off, because it was already a cold morning and I didn’t want to drink my coffee in a strong breeze. Then the cook was playing Dueling Radios with the stuff being piped in for the customers, and Heather (the waitress) told the cook to shut off his or her radio.

Then, as it was nearing the end of the night shift, Heather just came over to my booth and leaned against it with a coffee pot dangling from her hand and watched me eat a cinnamon roll the size of a dinner plate.

She was young – about 20 – and had this very fresh-faced innocence about her. For someone so young, with no real experience of the world, she had some good insight into the key issues of life. For instance, we were talking about the role of the family environment in development, and I held up my finger and said, “There are basically two ways to look at life,” and prepared to give a big speech. She said, “I know: It either makes you or breaks you.” I was taken aback a bit and said, “You put that very succinctly.”

So it was time for me to go, and I shook her hand and wished her luck. As I went to pay my bill, I saw the cooks through a little open window in the kitchen wall, and they appeared to be finishing up a litany of complaints about Heather: “. . . and not only that, she stood leaning against the booth and talking with that guy for half an hour.”

My last words to Heather were “You know, with your potential for sympathy and empathy, you would make a great fortune-teller.” Well, maybe she’ll join the circus. . .

Spit and Image of the Old Man

What is the most interesting idiomatic expression in American English and what is the history/story behind it?

He’s the spit and image of his father. See 'Spitting image' - the meaning and origin of this phrase. “26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:26–27). “And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul” (Genesis 2:7 KJV).

Image from The Book of Genesis Illustrated by Robert Crumb (2009)

Note that it takes two requirements to create a man in God’s image: (1) the dust of the ground, and (2) the breath of life. There is always an influx of God’s energy - whether it be breath or some other emanation, for example, saliva or spit. In this connection, it’s worthwhile to look at John 9:6–7.

“When he had thus spoken, he spat on the ground, and made clay of the spittle, and he anointed the eyes of the blind man with the clay, And said unto him, Go, wash in the pool of Siloam, (which is by interpretation, Sent.) He went his way therefore, and washed, and came seeing.”

The occasion is being born again in the light of the Lord. Just as breath imbued the dust of the earth with spirit, so does the saliva of Jesus fill the man with the Holy Spirit.

Thus do spirit and image, or “spit and image,” make humankind the very image of God.

Sheol and Heaven and Hell

According to the Apostles Creed, Jesus “descended into hell” after his crucifixion. However, he told the repentant thief on the cross next to him that “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with Me in Paradise." Which is the correct account?

Jesus Christ had a long day on his hands when he died, and he could well have gone to Heaven as well as Hell, but you have a good point there.

(1) The realm into which Jesus descended is called Hell, in long-established English usage, but  Sheol or Limbo by some Christian theologians to distinguish it from the hell of the damned. (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrowing_of_Hell)

(2) Sheol/Hades was a realm with two divisions—a place of blessing and a place of judgment (Matthew 11:23; 16:18; Luke 10:15; 16:23; Acts 2:27–31). The abodes of the saved and the lost are both generally called “Hades” in the Bible. The abode of the saved is also called “Abraham’s bosom” or “Abraham’s side”  in Luke 16:22 and “paradise” in Luke 23:43. The abode of the unsaved is called “hell” or “Hades” in Luke 16:23. The abodes of the saved and the lost are separated by a “great chasm” (Luke 16:26).

When Jesus died, He went to the blessed side of Sheol and, from there, took the believers with Him to heaven (my emphasis, Ephesians 4:8–10). The judgment side of sheol/hades has remained unchanged. All unbelieving dead go there awaiting their final judgment in the future. Did Jesus go to sheol/hades? Yes, according to Ephesians 4:8–10 and 1 Peter 3:18–20. Source: Did Jesus go to hell between His death and resurrection?"


(3) Therefore, Jesus did go to hell (Sheol), but he also went to heaven. How he could do all this in one day is beyond me, but after all, he’s God’s kid.

It is not right for a man to be alone

What does it mean that a wife is supposed to be a "helpmeet"?

In the Bible, it is written of Adam that “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). In this instance, help meet means a help that is meet (proper) for Adam, and the term has since been transformed into helpmeet, or helpmate. 

Now, this expression does not translate into “A wife should be subservient to her husband” and fulfill his every wish and command. Rather, it is a recognition that men and women, as social creatures, require a mate to fulfill their needs for human contact and reproduction. Not only that, but they need each other to be complete in the sense that yin fulfills yang, and yang fulfills yin. That is, they are complementary.

Source: https://www.gotquestions.org/wife-helpmeet.html

Image by Robert Crumb, from The Book of Genesis Illustrated (2009). Though Crumb follows the Bible in word-for-word translation, in this instance God uses a sightly different version from the King James version (“a fitting helper” rather than “an help meet”).

Sodom and Gomorrah

A couple of passages in the Old Testament take a dim view of same-sex relationships. Those passages are Genesis 19 and Leviticus 18 and 20. Genesis 19 is the story of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, which includes an account of a large group of men who approach Lot and want to “know” two men (actually angels) who have been welcomed into Lot’s home. The ringleaders say, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may know them!”

Image by Robert Crumb.  The Book of Genesis Illustrated (2009).

The visiting angels, for their part, pull Lot to safety in his house, and they blast the mob with “blinding light,” rendering them blind.

Leviticus 18:22 states, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.” Leviticus 20:13 is a rejoinder that man shall not lie with mankind - again an abomination.

There are also passages in the New Testament (Romans 1, 1 Corinthians 6, and 1 Timothy 1) that describe homosexuality as not being what G-d intended.

Be all that as it may, if you look at the Bible in the original Aramaic, there is no reference to homosexuality as a sin. My friend Gary was a student at Bob Jones University, which was known for its vehement stand against gays of all sort. He had a job as assistant to one of the deans.

At that time Bob Jones had one particular Bible verse that they used to justify their stance against gays, and Gary was himself a closeted gay. As part of his studies he worked on translating Bible passages from the Aramaic. When he got to the key verse, he discovered that it had nothing to do with homosexuality.

Concerned, he went to the dean and reported what he’d found. The dean turned to him and said, “We know, Gary; that’s why we’re looking for a new verse.” Ba-doom ching!

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