October 18, 2019 (Quora Question)
What is the most outrageous thing a counselor said to you?
One so-called therapist said he would kick my ass down the hall if I behaved in some untoward manner (I can’t remember what manner, but I don’t think I threatened any violence, so his comment seemed apropos of nothing). This “pastoral counselor” was a big bruiser and he really *could* have kicked my ass down the hall, but was that really how counseling worked? (I didn’t know because I had never been to a counselor before.) I later called him and said I thought I would do better with another therapist. He laughed at me like I was some kind of pussy - though he did refer me to another therapist, a woman who insisted that I tell her what I honestly thought of her. When I did that, she became outraged and shouted out defenses of herself while also stating that she didn’t have to justify her behavior to me. Man, I couldn’t win.
One so-called therapist said he would kick my ass down the hall if I behaved in some untoward manner (I can’t remember what manner, but I don’t think I threatened any violence, so his comment seemed apropos of nothing). This “pastoral counselor” was a big bruiser and he really *could* have kicked my ass down the hall, but was that really how counseling worked? (I didn’t know because I had never been to a counselor before.) I later called him and said I thought I would do better with another therapist. He laughed at me like I was some kind of pussy - though he did refer me to another therapist, a woman who insisted that I tell her what I honestly thought of her. When I did that, she became outraged and shouted out defenses of herself while also stating that she didn’t have to justify her behavior to me. Man, I couldn’t win.
These were my very first experiences with any kind of therapist or counselor, and it made me very wary of seeking other help, which I really needed. Now, I did happen to run into that woman while walking in the woods, and I stopped to say hello. She said, “You seem much more relaxed, like you’re in your element,” and I reckon I thought “You too, lady,” but it was a nice moment of acceptance on both our parts. Still, when you go into therapy, there is a not unreasonable expectation that you will be respected and not be made to feel like a freak because you already feel like you’re a freak. I think many people get into psychology and psychiatry because they are pretty messed up themselves and are somehow seeking help themselves.
Later I went on to find a therapist with whom I was able to express my concerns, and I believe that ventilating was a good way to deal with those concerns. At a hundred bucks for 45 minutes, it had better be. Still later I had a therapist who had me come in for an expensive appointment only to tell me she couldn’t see me anymore. I fought that one with the clinic and got a refund. The counselor also quit, hopefully to pursue a more appropriate vocation - LOL.
